Opportunities for growth

I am discovering that opportunities for growth in my walk with God are often disguised in some of the most challenging circumstances. For several months now, I have been experiencing chaos and conflict in a major area of my life...an area that I am very passionate about. As this "experience" continued to snowball, it started to impact my energy, my thoughts, my quiet time and then eventually...my family. At this point, I knew that I had to completely surrender to God, but I thought "I already gave this to Him...so why I am dealing with this still?" I felt a compelling desire to just get alone with God. Totally alone. No e-mail, no crackberry, no laptop, no internet, no TV. ALONE with God to purge my thoughts, my heart, my burden and truly surrender myself and my time. Without notice, I took two and a half days of vacation and told my boss that I would not be available. In faith, I was sure and certain that this is what it would take to turn this chaos in my life into something better...what I would later realize is an opportunity for growth. My first day of quiet time I clearly heard God's voice peacefully share with me that this series of circumstances I am in is the mission field for ministry that he has planted my feet upon to bring glory to Him. The disappointment I experienced in myself at this point was tremendous. If the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart over the last few months were reflections of Christ, then I had surely failed. I failed Him and the mission He has called me to. Studying Hebrews, verses 6: 7-8 the Lord walked me through how His world spells out for us that as we face disappointment we have to be mindful of what we do along the way and what we say along the way, for it is our words and our actions that identify the level and quality of our faith. The evidence of my faith during these circumstances in my life certainly did not point to Jesus. I was full of discouragement and defeat. Continuing on through this chapter of Hebrews, I began to identify with Abraham. I am a hard worker - and the whole idea of hard labor and training - really resonates with me. His word in Hebrews impacted me - as I began to see these circumstances that I am in as a training exercise - one that I need to run hard, and persevere through to the end rather than just giving up. I prayed that God would renew my energy in Him to allow his glory to shine through me in these circumstances. As I stayed in prayer and in His word, the Lord pointed to things that were said and done over the "series of circumstances" that could be turned around if I just changed my perspective in alignment with what God requires of us - and that is to take these circumstances and evaluate them for the opportunities for growth that they offer to us. I realized that because this situation was so visible, and I was dealing with people that were so vocal, it was a perfect opportunity to exhibit in Him, the self-control, emotional control, and dedication that are evidence of the faith and relationship I have in the Lord. And today, the Lord took me to Psalms 10 and 11. One of the areas I struggled most with during these challenges, was that I wanted to just quit and turn away. I wanted to move as far away from this situation as possible. The thought of running away from it would not leave me. It consumed me for several days to the point I was losing sleep over it. In His word, God clearly showed me that running away - quitting - is completely in defiance of what He has called me to do. David in Psalms 10 and 11 - does not fearfully run away from his challenges. He knew God was greater than anything he faced. How could I forget something so simple? How could I - the churchgoer; Bible reader; prayer giver - forget something so obvious to me? I realized that this series of circumstances seems to get bigger as I reach and seek harder for the Lord's presence in my life. Without question, I could see that these circumstances have obviously been planted in my path to distract me and move me away from the Lord's call on my life and ministry. Once I realized this, I knew that I needed to do something bold - and powerful in Him - to give the Lord opportunity to rain down His spirit and perspective on me as I move through this. So, I took the time off of work to totally focus on Him. I stepped away from anything that is blinding my vision of Christ and His purpose in my life - and turns out, most of those things inundating me with thoughts that move me away from this purpose - are traveling into my life through vehicles of technology - so it was simple. TURN THEM OFF!!! MOVE THEM OUT!! And the blessings, the peace, the tranquility, and the renewed spirit the Lord has showered upon me the last four days has been unimaginable. And it continues. So I need to stop and get off of here :)

Jeremiah 2 "Go and Cry"

Mom, spouse, corporate career, ...I just can not seem to manage getting much done outside of the priorities tha tgo with mom, spouse and work. I have friends that talk about finishing books, and I know parents who blog every day. I really do not understand how anyone does it. It has been two weeks since I have been able to make time to get back into my bible study and I STILL have not purchased the book that I was going to begin with some great ladies in my family. This morning, I took on the second chapter of Jeremiah. I did not get far before the Lord's word ROCKED my world. "Moreover the word of the Lord came to me saying, Go and Cry in the hearing of Jerusalem, saying 'thus says the Lord'...

My first thoughts were, "when was the last time that I heard the word of the Lord?" Hence, my conviction and struggle expressed above for not making time with God FIRST. Our purpose is to hear from Him and truly seek with all of our heart, soul, and mind His Purpose. When I do not make time to hear from the Lord priority - everything suffers and I miss out on so many experiences that I will never get back.

A second "WOW" moment, was to hear the Lord command Jeremiah to "Go and Cry"...this is BOLD. He did not just send Jeremiah into Judah to say a few things to a few people. He sent Jeremiah into Judah to CRY to them with passion and conviction to impress upon them to turn their focus from material things, pleasing people, and exalting their own abilities, back to the Lord's purpose. There is no lasting security apart from God. I do not really believe we live in a world that is willing to "Go and Cry" for people and God's purpose anymore. One reason I believe this is because when I read this in scripture, the action of "cry" as commanded by God to Jeremiah - in my perspective, is a serious expression of desperation and heartache. I think of my 8 month old son. He is not able to speak yet and in most cases I believe that I have learned his nonverbal cues to help satisfy his needs. However, as every mom knows, there are many times his moan slowly starts to turn into a more passionate expressiveness because I am not figuring out how to satisfy the particular need. Within seconds, his face is completely red, and his voice has reached an octave that can probably be heard at Table Rock Mountain miles away in Walhalla. And he can go on like this for several minutes if I do not figure out what it is he wants. This cry, is desperation...persistent and determined, to get his point across with certainty and decisiveness, with the utmost confidence that it will help him achieve receiving an answer to his discomfort. Do we ever get this way over what it is the Lord is commanding us to do? This level of passion and boldness speaks to me and encourages me to be more radical in my Faith and purpose for Jesus Christ. I believe the Lord requires of us to "Go and Cry" out to those who need Him. I believe that every day my priorities need to align with actions that speak to what the Lord requires.

Where can I apply this in my life? One of the first areas I think of is at work. I need to cry out against gossip - and take a bold radical stand against it. This means I need to do more than just walk away or calling attention to it - I need to cry out against the action with passion and persistence and live an example of love for people without judgement consistently so that there is an undeniable presence of the Lord in my life, and in our office.

Ironically, my child is now crying - desperate for me to turn him off of his tummy because he is frustrated and unable to crawl. Okay, dad fixed it. Continuing on, a second area is with our children. I believe that we need to express honestly as we raise them how we feel about the choices they are making, the friends they are choosing, the overall path they are traveling - needs to be shared openly and children need to see our passion for their pursuit of purpose in their lives. Parents need to be committed to "crying" - to stepping up to lead their families - and teaching children to place their security in Christ Jesus. Parents need to become angry when children disobey and remain truly devoted to what the Lord requires for parenting. Parents need to "cry" - passionately remind their children of God's love for them, and share with them the promises that come from a life following the Lord for them to build on these successes and avoid repeating the failures of others that have not.

So, "Go and Cry". Okay?

To Be Like Jeremiah

I am joining a women's bible study this week with some awesome women in my family and in addition I am going to commit to reading a new chapter a day. The Lord led me to the book of Jeremiah this morning. Taking one chapter at a time, I aim to soak in every teaching that the Lord intends for me to receive from this book. In Jeremiah 1:5, His word says "Before I formed you in the womb"...Before I formed Keri Unsworth, I knew you Keri. Before my own parents saw my face or held my hand, the Lord had a purpose designed for my life to His glory. That really puts in perspective that our ULTIMATE purpose is to serve Our Father in Heaven according to what He designed for us to pursue. What else does this put in perspective? Perhaps the time, energy, emotion, and struggle we invest, many of us, with our biological fathers needs to be reevaluated as energy we could be using to seek with our entire heart and mind - His ULTIMATE purpose to make the name of Jesus Christ reality to those around us. In just these few opening words, I am humbled and in awe of His power and omniscience "I knew you first"...so why do we invest everything that we are in what other people want us to do? No one has this knowledge of who we are other than the Lord -so surely other people's desires and plans for us can not and will not even match what can transpire when we fulfill the path that God has designed us for. His Word says that He ordained Jeremiah to speak His Word before anyone even knew him. It is in this verse I realize that in the same way, I need to understand what God set forth in me to do - even before anyone knew me. This has a huge impact when you really focus on God's purpose. If God's purpose for us was set forth before anyone knew us, that means we can NOT fail and that any time we have failed and we have experienced the words of others telling us that we can NOT do something, they are possibly very very wrong and we should never focus on what people believe about us, but focus on what God knows - and knew - about us from the day we were born. The church I attend, the pastor is often challenging every Jesus lover to ask yourself..."what would you do if you KNEW you could not fail". And that is why I LOVE the book of Jeremiah - because most of us know the answer for the design of our lives just like Jeremiah knew that he was called to go share God's message, but we are afraid. And in verse 1:8 and through the entire book of Jeremiah the Lord commands "DO NOT BE AFRAID of their faces...of their words". So many of us are living a content existence with the knowledge that we are called to something far more impactful - but we fear losing money, losing family, losing friends, losing losing losing. Only because we fear what we do not know. And this is why the Lord uses His Word to teach us about FAITH. And this is how the Lord uses the life of Jeremiah and his FAITH in the Lord so that we will not ignore the purpose God designed us for and we will take hold of it and live it out like Jeremiah did - without contingencies and without dependencies on people. We often forget His promise to "deliver" us from any hardship..."for I am with thee to deliver thee" 1:9. We never get passed our fears to even entertain what happens after we go in FAITH and trust in God's plan. Look around you and find individuals that you know have trusted their lives in FAITH to God's plan. Never I have met one that lived in regret, agony, or sorrow. But everyday in corporate America, traveling through airports, I meet men and women who are in agony, tremendous pain, and frustration and they are not walking their journey in FAITH moving towards what the Lord really designed them to do. On a personal level, I lived 7 years believing that I was not valuable, and that I needed to settle for whatever came my way because that is what I deserved. I made many mistakes in my personal and professional life and I believed that I deserved to live in darkness and pain. One day a good friend shared with me, Jeremiah 29:11. She was a friend who believed in me. And I wondered, "What does she see in me?" It was not about me - it was about her FAITH in knowing that the Lord planned me before my parents even knew me, and He has always thought of me as valuable with an impactful purpose in mind specific to me, and she wanted me to understand this and take action to live the unimaginable journey God designed, than the empty one I was on. So, what are you doing today with your design? Are you pursuing God's design? Or are you creating your own? What would you do if you knew you could not fail? For the first time in 33 years, I was able to answer this. I know that the Lord has called me to minister to women in some fashion. I am a huge admirer of what the Lord has done in the lives of Joyce Meyer and Kay Arthur. So this is my first step in answering the Lord's call no my life to share the words He has put in my mouth...just like Jeremiah.

Family

This day kicks off the first day of a new commitment to quiet time, Keri time, and writing and authoring. I have sure missed writing.